Winning the War Against Cancer Begins with Your Personal Choices

*I am pasting this on my blog with the website at the end of this article. It is true, what the author wrote how for 20 years, medical scientists have never solved the "Cancer Cure" but have instead developed more potent drugs in chemotherapy to battle cancer. The ulterior motive, I know, is for drug companies to profit (BILLIONS) from these drugs. It is time for us to GET EDUCATED because we don't get any protection from remaining ignorant on cancer and other medical issues. Please read the 12 simple basics which are listed below:  

You can do a lot, right now, to significantly decrease your cancer risk. Even the conservative American Cancer Society states that one-third of cancer deaths are linked to poor diet, physical inactivity, and carrying excess weight. So making the following healthy lifestyle changes can go a very long way toward ending the failure-streak and becoming one less statistic in this war against cancer:

1. Normalize your vitamin D levels with safe amounts of sun exposure. This works primarily by optimizing your vitamin D level. Ideally, monitor your vitamin D levels throughout the year.
2. Control your insulin levels by limiting your intake of processed foods and sugars/fructose as much as possible.
3. Get appropriate amounts of animal-based omega-3 fats.
4. Get appropriate exercise. One of the primary reasons exercise works is that it drives your insulin levels down. Controlling insulin levels is one of the most powerful ways to reduce your cancer risks.
5. Eat according to your nutritional type. The potent anti-cancer effects of this principle are very much underappreciated. When we treat cancer patients in our clinic this is one of the most powerful anti-cancer strategies we have.
6. Have a tool to permanently erase the neurological short-circuiting that can activate cancer genes. Even the CDC states that 85 percent of disease is caused by emotions. It is likely that this factor may be more important than all the other physical ones listed here, so make sure this is addressed. My particular favorite tool for this purpose, as you may know, is the Emotional Freedom Technique.
7. Only 25 percent of people eat enough vegetables, so by all means eat as many vegetables as you are comfortable with. Ideally, they should be fresh and organic. Cruciferous vegetables in particular have been identified as having potent anti-cancer properties. Remember that carb nutritional types may need up to 300 percent more vegetables than protein nutritional types.
8. Maintain an ideal body weight.
9. Get enough high-quality sleep.
10. Reduce your exposure to environmental toxins like pesticides, household chemical cleaners, synthetic air fresheners and air pollution.
11. Reduce your use of cell phones and other wireless technologies, and implement as many safety strategies as possible if/when you cannot avoid their use.
12. Boil, poach or steam your foods, rather than frying or charbroiling them.  

From: http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2011/03/30/the-war-on-cancer-a-progress-report-for-skeptics.aspx

Laurie fights for his brother’s colon cancer

Dolf prompted me to write this letter and we hope in doing so, my story will reach many who are going through battles with cancers in their lives.

Hi, my name is Laurie and this is a story about my big brother who is fighting colon cancer at this stage in his life. We’ve been living separately and independently in Taiwan for quite a long time since we are both adults and know how to care for ourselves. From time to time, when our mom visits us from the Philippines, we will arrange to see each other. Sometimes if I have  a new movie from the internet, he would come to my house and we would watch it together.

Last November 2010, when mom and my younger brother visited me, my big brother came to see them as well. He complained about his difficult bowel movement and some abdominal pain with a thin sized-stool which isn’t normal because it’s always been regular-sized (this given the fact that he’s a meat eater since childhood).

He went to see a doctor sometime in February 2011 due to his busy work schedule where he was given some laxative medication. The doctor also asked him for a 3 day fast for a colonoscopy. I was with him when he had his colonoscopy and we were thinking maybe “polyps” was the case for the bowel obstruction. Perhaps the doctor could perform minor surgery by cutting the polyps off during the process. The doctor instead asked to talk to me. I felt coldness in me as I slowly discovered that my big brother had a tumor in his colons.  

Since he was still waking from his sedation, I slowly told him the news and he absorbed it quite openly. We decided to have this surgery performed in Taipei because the government here does a wonderful job in insuring its citizens, as most medical assistance and expenses are shouldered by a single, national health card.

My life changed abruptly. Work and hospital was now my new routine. Fortunately, my younger brother was there to coordinate with me as we waited for his surgery day. The longest day of my life happened during the operation after which the doctor asked me to look at the removed sigmoid part of his colon but I declined. His appendix was taken off as well because from the doctor’s past experience, a lot of patients complain about the inflammation of the appendix which creates complications and we were glad we made the right decision.

We waited about a week on the decision for chemotherapy as they found 2 tiny cancer cells on the lymph nodes. He is scheduled to get his first chemotherapy on April 11, 2011 and we asked about the side-effects and the procedures. The doctor teased him that a 70 yr old patient had less to complain about compared to him. Anyway, the side-effects might be shaky hands that will last for 3 years and the procedure will be around his collar bone where an artificial vein will be inserted for the transfusion of the chemo meds ( oxiplatin added with 5FU). In preparation to this upcoming battle, I instructed my brother to drink barley grass in the morning and veggies extract around 10am. He is independently doing this routine in the morning and some molasses with lemon of about 30cc. with water. He’s very positive about this and that’s why when the doctor saw him again, he said to him that he doesn’t look sick at all. I guess if he keeps a positive energy at home, this will help him to live normally and will also help him prepare to fight this battle. This is what I can share for now.

Young Living Feelings Kit "感情複方精油" translated to Mandarin by Lisa Valdivia and Dolfcheng

"感情複方精油"含有六種精油混合：
1. 勇氣 Valor
2. 和諧 Harmony
3. 饒恕 Forgiveness
4. 釋放過複去 Release
5. 現在這時刻 Present Time
6. 內在小孩 Inner Child
*  最有潛力 *Highest Potential

1. 勇氣 Valor
每天晚上，用Valor 複方精油，擦上腳底。如果您有*Highest Potential複方精油，使用此也與Valor精油。這2個複方精油已能有效地清除局限的思維。


Valor 將平衡和均衡身體的能量。這將增加氧氣攝取到大腦的松果腺。在大腦中的松果腺，才能找到我們的更高的智能和直觀的天賦。使用Valor 後，你會醒來的早晨更加放心，更有活力的自我開始一天。

How to use Young Living essential oils to help with Colon Cancer

" This information is provided by Nida Gonzales-Chan and I have inserted my own notes into it. I shared this protocol to a friend who has colon cancer and has had his tumor removed and is awaiting chemotherapy sometime April, 2011. I strongly disagree with any form of chemical treatment in the body but it is always up to any of you to decide for yourself. I am a health educator and coach and am sharing my dialogue with my friend for others out there so that you may be well-informed on cancer. My name is Dolf. Log on to dolfcheng.younglivingworld.com to order Therapeutic-Grade Essential Oils from Young Living. " 

Colon Cancer Protocol

To enhance the action of essential oils, cancer requires strong  cleansing and fasting programs. Cancer is best treated in its early stages by alternating and varying essential oils used each week, so the cancer cells do not build up a resistance to the treatment.

" Cleansing and Fasting, cleansing means that there are toxins that have been built up in the body, this is why an emotional clearing is very important as cancer is highly emotional caused by high volatile emotions or repressed one. In the case of colon cancer, it is likely that the patient has much repressed emotions, the feeling of not letting go and having emotions stuck in the colon. Fasting is also recommended but it depends on the phsical strength of the patient. If a person is weak then fasting is not recommended. The point is fasting is because it gives NO FOOD at all to the cancer cells. Cancer thrive on any food that we take into our body, most specially high in acid like meat, bread, rice. But cancer won't thrive in high alkaline foods like fruits and vegetables. "

For a cancer preventative, mix up to 20 mg of these essential oils in tablespoon of vegetable oil, and put in 00 size gel caps. Take one per day.

The gastritis associated with H. pylori infection is closely associated with gastric cancers. Highly antiseptic oils can kill Helicobacter pylori that causes the infection. These oils include oregano, mountain savory, tea tree, and thyme.

Single Oils:

Clove, Frankincense, Ledum, Orange , Tsuga, Lavender

 

" Clove, orange, tsuga and lavender from Young Living are really PURE and ingestible and are not really expensive but the expensive one is frankincense although this rare and high -sesquiterpene essential oil is highly recommended. This colon cancer protocol is provided by my friend Nida Gonzales who is a Filipina dietitian and lives in New Jersey. Please look for her on Facebook, type Nida Gonzales-Chan. "

 

 

EO Applications:

INGESTION:

            CAPSULE, 00 size, 2-4 times daily

            RICE MILK, 2-4 times daily

 

Colon Cancer Regimen:

Day 1: Put 10 drops of Frankincense, 10 drops tsuga in a vegetable capsule and swallow 3-4 times daily.

 

Day2: Mix 16 drops Frankincense and 3 drops clove, and put in vegetable capsule. Take orally 3-4 times daily.

 

Day 3: Mix equal parts Frankincense and Lavender in a vegetable capsule and take 3-4 times daily.

 

Day 4: Take Frankincense capsules 3-4 times daily.

Days 5-8: Repeat above 4-day cycle.

Days 9-12: Reset for 4 days.

Day 13: Restart the regimen.

 

" The oils are changed and rotated so that the cancer cells will not catch up with

mutating itself to adapt to the oils, that is why a mix of oils are recommended. "

 

Dietary Supplementation:

EssentialZyme, ComforTone, ICP, Detoxzyme

 

" These are enzymes... to actually digest the  cancer cells killed off by the oils. Essentialzyme and Detoxzyme are enzyme capsules. Comfortone is a natural laxative that is important to take because then the dead cancer cells will be flushed off the body, out into the bathroom. ICP is a high fiber powdered drink which is highly alkaline to achieve an unfriendly terrain for the cancer cells. If the patient is a meat-eater and takes less fibers, fruits and vegetables, then this drink is important. "

 

Supplementation Regimen:

 

1.      Begin with EssentialZyme to digest toxic waste.

2.      Take 2 capsules ComforTone, 3 times daily. Increase by one daily until the bowels move. Then begin reducing. If diarrhea occurs, reduce amount of ConforTone used and increase ICP fiber beverage. Drink plenty of purified or distilled water.

 

3.      ICP fiber cleanse: Begin with 1 Tbsp. in water, 3 times daily. Increase to 2 Tbsp. 3 times daily or as needed until bowels are moving regularly.

 

" Please log on to youngliving.com to order the oils. I will assist you in ordering the oils but you have to log in under my membership no. so that I can become your upline and I will be totally responsible for your essential oils education. My name is Dolf. "

Lessons from her Hospital Bed, Shirley's cancer battle and what she taught me

by Dolf Cheng,

Education master student,

University of the Philippines Diliman

Health enthusiast writer

Feb. 23^rd, 2011, 1pm: I arrived in Taipei and wondered why I was back here in the country where I had resided for 22 years. Yes, the familiar buildings, streets, Mandarin signs are still there but I have already lost my taste for it. I looked around for either a sign to call me back to Taipei life but there was nothing to greet me but the cold weather at 18 degrees celsius. Upon approaching my 6^th floor apt., I unlocked the door and entered the holy space which I had lived for 10 years. It has already been 10 months since I left it and now that I’m back, I still can't fully recover to the shocking fact that I am once more in Taipei City.

But why am I here? Images started forming themselves into a complete picture and I sat down on the sofa with disbelief. My dear friend Shirley who had opted for Gerson therapy to control her cancer growth had decided to undergo chemotherapy December last year (2010). I am stunned by her decision because the

Gerson Way

taught her absolute faith in natural and wholesome foods to minimize her cancer cells. Memories swarmed in like thousands of bees swirling back to me...

March 3, 2010: Shirley underwent a 2-part surgery when the doctor announced that the cyst on her right breast had become treacherously malignant. Her doctor wouldn't let go of this very chance and Shirley had to be confined immediately and things happened too fast, too soon. Her breast tumor was removed and a continuing surgery followed soon to remove her lymph nodes near the right armpit, because cancer stains were detected. Chemo was supposed to commence soon afterwards but through the advice of friends, she chose to have Gerson therapy. Shirley had always been keen on business tactics and she strategized her moves like a book chapter on The Art of War. Betting her life between 50% chemo and 50% Gerson, she decided that both sides could go right...or go wrong. In the end, Gerson won and that, I felt, was the greatest decision in her life towards taking the health road.

  

Mid-March, 2010: Going “The Gerson Way” is not for the faint-hearted. It is a tedious push to devour things that are green, fresh, leafy, raw, little-cooked, organic and much more that I can't now recall. I proceeded to help her search the internet for information regarding this discipline and soon... Gerson books and recipe books, non-centrifugal juicers, alkaline water machines, boxes of organic fruits and vegetables, had to be shipped in from the US and local organic stores in Taipei. As I have said, it is not for the faint of heart because Shirley had to re-educate her eating blueprint. She had to know which fruit had what vitamin content, which vegetable had what mineral content, which nut among walnut, peanut or whatever tens of other nuts would have the most whatever content. To sum it up, there is to be no sugar, little salt, no preservatives and NO MEAT!!! with 3 exclamation explosive points.

Everyday for the rest of the 6-month “no chemo” period was starting to worry her medical doctor. She only went to the hospital for blood tests to measure her Gerson success or failure thereof. On this note, I think her doctor started suspecting something because she was occasionally advised to proceed with the chemo but I don't have a story to back that up.

Sometime April, 2010: I had to make a decision very soon because I had passed the entrance exam for my admission to U.P. (University of the Philippines) and school was to start in June 2010. Either I pack and leave for Manila or I stay to sit out this “No to Chemo, Yes to Gerson” strike together with Shirley. In the end, I had to walk my path and flew back to the Philippines. This was the last time I saw Shirley on her “Gerson” road to recovery.

Feb. 23, 2011, 4pm: 10 months later today, I am truly scared at what sight I might face. I got off the taxi and my heart skipped faster upon reaching 6^th floor of Cathay General Hospital. Walking towards the drawn orange curtain wall, I peeked in to find Shirley. Two things struck me at once– her swollen hand and her thinning hair. “Don't touch my hand!”, she warned. Her right hand swelled up like a glossy pin cushion filled with fluids. This swelling went up her lower arm to her upper arm and culminates at the shoulder and armpit. Her right upper body was all swelled up triple the size of her normal left body. This is caused by the failed lymphatic system which now does not act in pumping fluids around the body.

A Note on Lymphs: The lymphatic system consists of a web of lymphs or tiny hollow tubes and pumps, concentrating on the neck, armpit, upper chest and close to the sex area. Blood vessels automatically carry blood all around the body and we usually leave this to the circulatory system without any problems. Lymphs however carry fluids that can only internally move about if our bodies are in regular motion like walking, running or exercise. Without movement, the fluids do not travel much or not at all. With a destroyed lymph system caused by surgically removing it from her, Shirley's bed confinement together with her minimal movement started to collect fluids which just won't flush out of her system. In other words, the fluids are not moving at all which explains the swelling.

Feb. 23, 2011, 4:10 pm: Shirley asked me for news because she had been lying in her orange hospital bed with recycled news from other patients. Surmising her 3-patients shared room, everything like sheets, pillow cases, blankets, curtains came in the same matching color - pale orange. Is this a healing color or a color that induces relaxation for stressed-out patients, I thought. I leaned close to her and started recounting the missing 10 months of my life, tried to keep it short but couldn't. Sensing that there was too much news to digest, I asked her finally, “How are you?” She was teary-eyed and spoke sincerely “Thank you for coming. Thank you for coming.” True enough, I had made it to Taipei after a stressful 3 week wait for my passport to be released from the Philippines. I had wanted to come soon enough when she emailed me over a month ago and today I am taking her hand in mine to reassure her of my flesh and bone presence.

A Note on Gerson Therapy: The greatest unsolved mystery is why Shirley decided to go for chemo even after successfully minimizing her cancer cells with the Gerson therapy. I decided to press this question further by talking to one of her friend Myrna who gave me a detailed account of the missing 10 months since I left for the Philippines. Through her account, I was able to piece together that Shirley's Gerson practice went on for 9 months with remarkable results. She used to weigh 65 kilos, but after Gerson she weighed 53 kilos. This, on the contrary, is healthy because what she lost were fat cells. Remember, she couldn't eat meat because the Gerson therapy states that meat is acidic. The aim of Gerson is to tilt the alkaline-acidic balance of the body towards a high alkaline state. This becomes a very unfriendly terrain for the cancer cells which needs a highly-acidic body pH to survive. Throughout her healthful regime, Shirley had been eating close to 5 meals a day with boiled or steamed vegetable coupled with starch like bananas or potatoes. She lived mainly on juices every hour and this totaled to 12 fresh juices a day, and coffee enema was later on introduced into her daily routine. According to the Gerson book, organic coffee should be used. The ground coffee is boiled, cooled down and then the coffee enters the body on the other end of the body, meaning it is inserted into the anus and sits inside the body for 20 minutes. This is how it works: the coffee enema absorbs all the toxins from the liver because of the dying cancer cells caused by the high-alkaline pH of the body. Cancer patients almost always have damaged livers so the coffee enema steps in to assist the liver in detoxifying. After retaining the liquid for a time, the coffee is released, toxins and all, out once more into the bathroom. Livers are very important organs because they filter out harmful toxins that enter our bodies through the food we eat and pollutants that are absorbed into our skin. Healthy people have functioning livers which detoxify automatically but cancer patients have compromised livers which are over-exhausted with multi-detoxifying duties. These 2 are the main principle behind Gerson – maintaining high alkalinity and detoxifying the liver.

   

Sometime August, 2010: Shirley went back to China for a month's work. By September, she was complaining of right shoulder pain and had to come back to Taiwan for re-examination. Her right hand had started to swell with fluids and this also affected her lower right arm. Getting the facts from Myrna, Shirley was ever active in her Gerson diet from August (in China) and from September till early December (inTaiwan). Myrna suspects that Shirley must have exerted strenuous effort in pulling her luggage during travel, thereby starting to swell. I, however, suspect that her back-to-stressful life in China could have triggered it. Despite the many factors that may have contributed to the swelling, Shirley DID regret that her right lymphs were surgically “cut-off” by her first oncologist. She believed that with her natural discipline, she could have reversed the cancer growth in the lymph system. Sometime August and September, 2010, this is where her succeeding months of pain and deflating spirit began... in her lymph-compromised right armpit.

Sometime December, 2010: By December, she checked into the Cathay General Hospital in Taipei and was in and out of the hospital for a month. I am saddened at the thought of her hospital stay right through Christmas and New Year because of her physical therapy and her line-up for chemo.

She received her first chemo December 17th, and second one on December 24th. News came in from email and I "heard" that these 2 treatments were promising. However, the saying "It comes back with a vengeance" reverberated in me when what I heard next was that "The chemo wasn't working". Her swelling had started again. Shirley had a third treatment with a new chemo drug. I had not collected some important facts to include here because out of respect, I didn't press Shirley, who was then in her hospital bed, to give me the details of her treatment. The 3rd chemo proved unsuccessful for her because she her body started to deteriorate soon afterwards.

A Note on Gerson and Chemo:  Technically, Gerson and Chemo do not seem to match because of the discussion earlier on acidic and alkaline pH environment in the body. Chemo eats up a lot of sustenance (specially red blood cells) in the body and needs to be replenished with loads of high protein and because of this, Shirley started to eat red meat (after not doing so for 9 months) to aid her physical wellness because she grew weak after every chemo. On the other hand, Gerson states that cancer cells thrive on high acidic pH which red meat IS. Whenever a chemo was performed, she would lie helplessly and hopelessly weak. There is no long running energy in fibers, minerals and vitamins from the Gerson to sustain her weakness. She needed to eat protein and since red meat counts as a high protein contender, her doctor prescribed this into her diet. This clashed with Shirley's principle of keeping her body alkaline in the Gerson discipline because of the introduction of the acidic beef but on the other, medical perspective, she needed meat to counter the weakness from the chemotherapy.

March 3, 2011: John is scheduled to leave for the Philippines after being with his sister, Shirley, for 3 weeks. A crisis almost always brings out the best in anyone, and for this, John showed one of his best facets. A family member always brings immeasurable comfort and John provided that grounded and stable post for her to hold on, oftentimes for Shirley to complain and bark on. I have never seen his nurturing side and I am very thankful that he is there to share the load off his sister, Shirley.

March 4, 2011: Shirley's condition is not stable, sometimes she is awake but most times she is tired. Not to dwell on the negative side, I prayed for her well-being and added strength from God, both for her and for me. Her breathing is very laborious and I remembered what John said, that both her lungs are now filled with water. Today, there is heavier news, Shirley scrawled a message down on paper, she doesn't want to speak much because even talking makes her tired. She wrote "Water in heart, danger anytime. Tell my family." She discovered this when she was wheeled to the basement to check her heart condition. To make this an officially bad day, the nurse gave her antidepressants after mistakenly reporting to the doctor that she was restless. Her heart pumped like crazy reaching 140 hearbeats per min. Two heart specialists rushed in and admonished her for possible heart surgery. I was shocked and find this intrusive because of her weak condition. Her oncologist later came in to say that other medical professionals sometimes grab any opportunities to perform surgeries that are absolutely unnecessary. I later found out that, had we agreed on the heart operation, it would have cost Shirley NT$80,000 or 120,000 pesos.

Shirley's lymph inflammation on her right side has worsened. The wounds have erupted and her bandages had to be changed 4 times a day because her skin fluids were soaking her hospital gown and bed sheet. This could be a reversal of the damaged lymph system which instead of being processed inside the body is helplessly oozing outside. Today marked Shirley's last trip to the bathroom because she lost mobile strength in her left leg. I had to leave her bedside every time the Taiwanese caretaker used a bed pan for her bladder and the other bathroom need.

March 5, 2011: Shirley's body is growing HOT not only because of her cancer drug Tamoxifen but also because of her non-mobility as she is glued all day to her bed. Aunt Chao (the Taiwanese caretaker) had to devise a way for her to cool down and she immersed a set of water bags in ice before setting it for Shirley to lie on. With Shirley's painful whole right body, 4 sets of wound re-dressing a day, bathroom in the bed pan and now the interchange of ice-cold water bags, I could feel her agony whenever she needs to be moved. I decided to stay by her even if she is disrobed to help in lifting her up. She gets disoriented and I would always say, "I'm right here. A little more patience. Let's move your arm up, 1-2-3!"

Father Gary Carbon from Don Bosco Parish Church, Taipei, came by to annoint Shirley. She asked for this Catholic rite even though she was re-baptised a Christian 3 months earlier, in January. Shirley still finds comfort in her old faith and asked for the priest to come. Sickness brings us close to God once more and at once the barrier between different faiths and religions are broken down.

One biting lesson Shirley taught me today was the life values. In her own words she said, “I regret so much that in this life, I have served men, not God.” I used the word “biting” because it is often too late in life that we discover the life we built isn’t worth it. It “bites” us back in the butt. I have known of Shirley’s great success in being a sales manager and of how she has helped her company in China to make, according to her, “millions”. But now, as she lay in bed, she is regretting that she hasn’t given any time at all to God. I wanted to cry for her, for her loss of God and her late realization but I took this lesson deeply into my own instead. No matter what, I will learn from her mistake.

March 6, 2011: I came in late at around 9 am today and Aunt Chao is worried because Shirley cannot induce urination on her own even though she is already wrapped in adult diapers. She sleeps more often now and her breathe is difficult with gasps as air is inhaled both through nose and mouth. The nurse came in with a catheter hooked to a urination bag and this induced almost a liter of urine out of her. Aunt Chao was hysterical and all over the nurse station to voice her anger because of their slow response. The protocol for a patient if having difficulty peeing is 6 hours. Shirley hasn't peed for 12 hours.

John logically perceives that the cancer has spread to her lower spines and explains why Shirley has lost sensation not only on her left leg but also on her right leg as well. This is also the reason why Shirley cannot feel the sensation of peeing and pooing. 3 days later, she gestured to us that she has lost control of her upper body from the pelvic area. She just can't move at all.

March 7, 2011: We are anticipating John's arrival to Taipei. I was very happy and tried to build the excitement for Shirley. Her meals aren't as plenty as a week ago. Ever since the doctor told her to build her protein intake, she has taken to eating beef - a discipline she hasn't broken since her papa and mama died almost a decade before because she had promised Quan Yin to sacrifice beef to deliver her parents speedier to the next life. Ever since her chemo, her meals are mostly salmon, pork, chicken, beef soup or beef porridge. Staying true to her discipline, she consumes only 3 pieces of beef for her protein requirements. Nothing more after that.

March 8, 2011: Today marks her last solid meal consisting of 3 pieces of melon, no more usual bread, no more usual milk. She is finding it difficult to swallow and her words are broken, if she finds strength to talk. She writes the letters, "C-H-O-K-E". Even water is hard to swallow. John implies that even her throat is now compromised by the swelling.

John and I lifted Shirley's back up so that we could help her HOT back breathe for awhile. Shirley tried to speak, but owing to her broken words, I couldn't piece her sentences together. Finally, I got it. She is speaking to John, "Give me up, let me go." The time is close and I knew it. Shirley and I were talking, a week before, about death and knowing where to go after that, about angels in wait, and about the light of God that she should dive into once she is through to the next life. Slowly, she has given up her material attachments, yet the most difficult are emotional ones, either those we attach ourselves to, or others attaching themselves to us. John was not letting go and Shirley felt that. She may be immobile, unable to gesture with her good hand, unable to speak, but she could still feel and she felt this deep attachment from him to her. It was time for John to let go and I knew it was very important for me to explain to him...why.

March 9, 2011: Shirley's remaining strengths are left only for important directives. Today, she gestured (plus talked weakly) to have her medications reduced, this owing to the fact that she can't swallow well and her fear of side effects as what happened to the erroneously-prescribed anti-depressant which left her heart beating erratically. This time I decided to step in and stand up for Shirley. I know for a fact that it is our right to refuse medication and no Taiwan law can mandate a patient to take medication against his will or knowledge. I decided to look into her medication and studied it for the first time.

A Note on Shirley’s medication:

Sennoside A+B 12 mg. for bowel movement – discontinued

Metoclopramide 30 mg. for digestion – continue

Tamoxifen citrate 10 mg. for cancer – continue

Lorazepam 0.5 mg for sleeping – discontinued

Aspirin 100 mg. for heart – continue

Iwell for ulcer medication – continue

Isosorbide 20 mg. for heart – continue

Oxacillin sodium 500 mg. – as antibiotics - continue

Dexamethasone 5 mg/1ml for inflammation – continue

Furosemide 20 mg/ ml. for fluid accumulation – a new drug used today

It saddens me to see Shirley ingesting pharmaceutical medicine but I need to be objective and see this as a hospital protocol to follow since she chose to be in a hospital setting. I coat her soles with Frankincense essential oils that will deliver the sesquiterpenes to her blood and nerve cells. Even though I am not familiar with the micro-function of oils in the blood system, I do believe she finds calm and peace in smelling its fragrance. Frankincense brings the mind to a meditative state and calms fears on the emotional level.

Shirley finds that the drug Tamoxifen is making her HOT inside and this is the same drug used on her mama many years back who also died of cancer. Aspirin is for her erratic heart and Iwell should be followed because aspirin is very detrimental to the stomach. Oxacillin as antibiotics is IV’d into her to control her fever which ranges between 37 and 38 and which has been so for many weeks now. Shirley attributes her fever to the hot Tamoxifen and ice bags on her back can only provide little comfort. Last, Dexamethasone is used to help in the inflammation of her lymph wounds and her swelling right arm. By today, Shirley has stopped eating because she has been too weak to do so and we have started protein shots named Albumin 25 mg.

It is very crucial to know your drugs issued by the doctor specially when you are helpless in the hospital bed because the nurses who patrol the patients report their condition to the station and reaches the doctor who then prescribes accordingly to what the nurses have reported. Medications and new ones will just pop in and the nurses tell Shirley to take them without explanation if not questioned. It is everyone’s right to know and we need to educate ourselves on what they are and to question their side effects. Shirley was delirious after taking Lorazepam because they made her eyelids heavy and induced nightmares in her. After explaining to the head nurse that she has no trouble sleeping were we able to discontinue its use. The pink pill which caused her heart to beat rapidly reaching 140 hb/min. was omitted out of her medication report and I can’t remember the name now. Medication reports cannot be printed out for patients and I was lucky to have it handwritten to me.

March 9, 2011: Shirley’s eldest brother flew in from Manila and I am relieved that he is now on his way here. I kept telling Shirley to wait because it’s the only reassurance for her to hold on a little while longer. She has not opened her eyes since morning but I know that she has always been listening. “Shirley, wait, please wait. Ahia Willy will be here soon. Wait, please wait.” That is all I could think of saying. Finally, when he arrived, Shirley managed to gain some strength to speak, “Forgive me. Forgive me.” That marked her last complete sentence.

March 10, 2011: Thanks to John, I rested on March 9^th but now I am back to take John’s place. Shirley’s breathing capacity continues to weaken and her oxygen level hooked to a SpO2 machine showed her at 80% to 90%. Her previous oxygen tube, hooked to the nostrils, was changed into the masked one. This improved her air intake and her oxygen level went back to 98%. John intuitively elected to stay overnight (March 9^th) to watch her and all through the night, Shirley would take the mask off but would be too disoriented to put it back on.

Shirley is in and out of her sleep/wake state. Relatives came and she opened her eyes to acknowledge their visit, but she would close them again to carry on with her sleep state. I elected to stay overnight because John is exhausted and he agreed. Towards 1:01 am, the nurse came in to check her oxygen level and was alarmed to find that her SpO2 read 78%. I called to wake up John as Shirley’s oxygen started to drop steadily. Finally, around 8 am, her eldest brother arrived. 3 hours later, Shirley is still struggling to maintain her oxygen level at 65 to 68%. Everyone (Ahia Willy, John and myself) wondered why she is not letting go. Finally, Willy went to her sister’s bedside and spoke to her. It was then that her oxygen truly began to drop.

     

Shirley's 56% oxygen level by 5:00 am, March 11, 2011

Shirley’s erratic heartbeat ranging bet. 60 to 123 beats per min.

Shirley fighting to maintain her oxygen level at 65% at 6:21 am

March 13, 2011: Eulogy dedicated to Shirley, Shin Hai Funeral House, Taipei City

Thank you, Ahia John and Ahia Willy. It is an honor to be here to speak for Shirley. Thank you each and everyone of you, officemates, friends and relatives for coming. Your time and your presence here means so much to Shirley because she requested this ceremony to be as short and as quick as possible and she knows how busy our lives are. In behalf of Shirley’s family, John and Willy, here is my letter to you.

Shirley, you passed away at 11:04 am on March 11, 2011, but it was only your physical body that expired. (Kung nandidito ka ngayon, sasabihin mo sa akin na itaya natin ang number 11 sa Lotto.) I firmly believe that you are now in the place we created and talked about when you were still in the hospital bed. When you were in the hospital, you lost mobility in your right arm, then you slowly lost the mobility in your left leg, then your right leg, then last you cannot control and move your upper body anymore. The only control you had was the hospital bed remote control and you get very angry when we take it from you. But now, you are free...walking, skipping, running, swimming, flying. And I am happy because I believe you are there now, free from your physical pain and sickness.

Shirley, I’m very sorry to hear that you chose chemotherapy last December 2010 after going through natural healing for 9 months. You did mention that going natural has helped you to conquer your cancer. But with chemotherapy, your physical body gave up after only 3 sessions of treatment (Dec 17, Dec 24 and Jan. 21). During your breast surgery March 3, 2010, the doctor removed your lymph nodes and you later regretted it because your natural healing could have controlled the cancerous growth there.

I am speaking this now for everyone here because I want to share your hospital story. Everyday, you lost control over your body because the nurses came in to change your clothes, your wound dressing, and finally your diapers every 4 times a day and you hate, hate, hate losing control, losing your power and losing your dignity. I could feel you crying inside but you would not show it. And despite that, you reached your left hand to me and took my hand and said IT’s OK. IT’s OK. You are very brave even in your last hour and I admire your courage deeply.

We talked a lot for 3 weeks during my stay at the hospital. You had a long, long time for silence and a long time for remembering the past. You talked about forgiveness and started to ask for forgiveness from me and your brothers. I was very surprised when you asked me to forgive you. And I told you a story that I have kept for a long time. Remember when we were in New York, and I was drinking water before my sleep. You said, Adolf, give your kidney a rest, will you? I got very angry because you were so controlling up to the point that you are even controlling my kidney. I’m sure everyone here knows how bossy Shirley is in our lives. That’s the reason why I felt sad for you, Shirley, because towards your end, the only control you had left was your hospital bed remote control. For many here, friends and family, thank you for being here. I am asking, in behalf of Shirley, for your forgiveness and may we have the grace to forgive her for whatever hurt, pain, shame she has caused us. Let us take one moment to truly speak to Shirley in our hearts, whatever it is, Shirley, you have caused us, we forgive you and we let go of that. 

Finally let me talk about HOME. Shirley, you said once said to me, “If you have no house, you will never “BE HOME”. Shirley, you have travelled everywhere... to the Philippines, Taiwan, Hong Kong and China but no matter where you lived, you never had a permanent house to “BE HOME” in. In your own words, you wrote...” I really regretted so much that in this lifetime I was not blessed with a home. My parents who dearly loved me so much left me early in life that I had to face my future all alone. Struggling everyday to meet and face what ahead alone. In a way, it makes me strong.”And to this, I reply. “Shirley, you may not have a physical home but you are HOME in our hearts.”

You searched all the world for your family and now, after this, you will fly back home to the Philippines and your final wishes granted. In your words, you wrote…”Please help me as my last wish to bring back my ash near my parent grave. This at least I will have the feeling that I am home. Kahit scattered it nearby is ok na for me, kasi I know in spirit I be going to the real home na. Shirley, I love you, we all love you and farewell.